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The AdopTwins
A podcast from two adoptees about Life, Loss, Moving On, and Growing Up.
The AdopTwins
From Disney World to Seoul: An Adoptee's Journey
In this podcast episode, hosts Meg and Billy, known as the Adopt Twins, explore a whirlwind of travel experiences and cultural discoveries as international adoptees. Billy recounts their recent travel adventures spanning Disney World and California, culminating in an unexpected opportunity to visit Korea through a sponsored program for adoptees. Despite initial hesitation, Billy embarks on the trip, aiming to reconnect with Korean culture and heritage. The discussion highlights the challenges of adoption, the excitement of exploring one's roots, and the humorous hopes of meeting BTS, all entwined with cultural and personal revelations.
https://youtu.be/L2hcETAUsJI?si=8smPff7UM2O7Up4i
Follow us on IG @theadoptwins
visit us on the web at https://adoptwins.com/
Hi, this is Meg.
Speaker 2:And this is Billy.
Speaker 1:And we are.
Speaker 2:The Adopt Twins.
Speaker 1:Meg and this is Billy, and we are the Adopt Twins. Welcome to a podcast from two adoptees who are navigating life loss, moving on and growing up.
Speaker 2:For our adopted friends we hope to bring you a familiar point of view and for our friends who aren't welcome to the complicated jungle of how we get on so for me personally, podfest was the first flight, I went on in seven years?
Speaker 1:whoa, yeah, seven years. So the next month I went to san San Francisco and then I did a really big trip in December that I will come back to, and then have since gone to also Key West and California.
Speaker 2:Great.
Speaker 1:So fit a lot in in those few months after not being on a flight for seven years. So that big trip that I had, it was to Disney World.
Speaker 2:Hey, congratulations. I remember going there with you and we couldn't talk about it, because you're, yeah, you're, you're, you're youngling, as it were, could not know that you were there.
Speaker 1:Correct, so I had to take my Mickey ears off when I did my nightly call with him and go to a nondescript background, so he had no clue what was going on, because he was very excited. I've been planning it since his first birthday and so we finally got the chance to go in December of 2023. Also, I found this information in October of 2023 about on Instagram from the Overseas Korean Agency, which is a government agency in Korea, that they were bringing over some adoptees who have not been back to Korea since they were adopted to another country and they would pay for flights up to two weeks before their actual conference and two weeks after and the time during the actual conference they would pay for the food and the hotel and the transportation to the things that they took us to and the admission to the things they took us to. And so I decided that I was not going to do it.
Speaker 2:You're not going to do it.
Speaker 1:I was not going to do it.
Speaker 2:An all-inclusive paid trip to Korea and big no, thank you. Right Connecticut is good enough for me.
Speaker 1:Well, yeah, to an extent, but it was more about the fact that they would pay for two weeks before and two weeks after, which means you could have five weeks in Korea, but the day I'd have to fly to Korea, because you know what. Those flights are really long and the time difference is like wild.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, so the day I'd have to fly to Korea was the day I was flying back to new york from disney world. And then the after the day I, after the conference ended, I have to fly to connecticut for the child in the nutcracker okay so I maybe I'll try it another year when I can stay longer.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1:And then last minute, two days before I decided, you know what, I might as well just do it. I'm probably not going to get picked anyway, so I'll just fill it out, just so I can like get a handle on all of this.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:So I filled it out. I got it in on deadline. I did not get the hard copies to the consulate in New York quite at deadline because I didn't realize I needed to. And so that day I went and went over to good old Staples and printed it out and made copies and overnighted it to both of the consulates in New York, because I wasn't sure what addresses was supposed to go to. And they got it the day after, of course, because I did it on the day it was due. So I said, well, that's that. But then I went to go pick up my son on November 1st from dance. I parked the car it is, if people aren't familiar, november 1st is Adoptee Awareness Month. So, parking the car and I see this number come up on my phone and I don't pick up numbers I don't know, because a lot of times there are people that want money and you know I don't really want to give them my money sure so I just refuse to pick up.
Speaker 1:But I'm looking at the number and it's a new york number and I'm thinking about time frame of everything and I'm like, well, I'll just pick up and see what they say. So I picked up and I said hello my brain. And said they said my last name first. You know what kind of people say the last name first.
Speaker 2:Is it Koreans?
Speaker 1:It is Huh. So she said I wanted to let you know you will be getting the message soon, but you've been chosen for the program.
Speaker 2:Whoa and I cried a whole lot. Oh yeah, because that was a lot to take in well, what were your, you know, even though you were doing it, not to do it, but you know, you were kind of hoping in some recess of your soul that maybe this was going to happen. What were your initial hopes for what could happen while you were out there?
Speaker 1:well, I wanted to register my dna with the police in the missing persons stuff. I wanted to. I thought maybe we'd see like a blue House which is like America's White House. I thought maybe we'd see the palaces. I thought maybe, maybe I'd get to meet BTS, because RM has this whole thing that he's doing with the government now and RM had posted a photo at one point of him with the overseas Korean agency. So I was like super excited because I love BTS. And then I did know that three of them had already gone into the military to do their mandatory military training but there were still four left. There were still four more there. So I landed on Sunday morning. Bts wasn't there to greet me, as I thought they would be, and two of them left on Monday and the last two left on Tuesday.
Speaker 2:What a waste of a trip.
Speaker 1:Seriously Left for the military instead during my time there. So that's fun. And with them being gone, all of the videographers and all of the photographers decided to follow us around for the entire week.
Speaker 2:How many were there?
Speaker 1:You know, I'm not sure, but we were broken up, sometimes into four different groups and we had multiple photographers and videographers on each of the groups.
Speaker 2:Okay, and so have you seen any of the footage that came from it?
Speaker 1:Yes, actually, on the last day, at our closing ceremony, they put the whole package, which covered everything from us getting off the buses at the hotels to the check-in process to get our badges, to all the different events that we had.
Speaker 2:Please tell me they used their music as the overlay of everything, or was it more generic public domain in Korea music that they were using?
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely was not BTS, which is very unfortunate. It should have been. I'm sure that their video would have gotten way more views if it was. But yeah, it was just basic generic music.
Speaker 2:So you can find it online.
Speaker 1:Oh, yes, I will put a link in the show notes so people can check it out if they'd like.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that'd be awesome.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah, it shows how awesome and wonderful of a job that they did with letting us get to know our culture, with our cultural experiences and the National Museum and trying the foods and having us speak to government agencies about adaption, like they are doing everything they can to help all of us.
Speaker 2:I bet they are doing everything they can, and a way that it's being presented is exactly what that looks like.
Speaker 1:So we knew it was a propaganda trip, but it did get me over there. With these kinds of things, there's always a compromise that needs to happen and a give and take. And they were going to pay for my hotel at a five-star hotel, they were going to reimburse me for airfare and they were going to feed me my meals, so I did it.
Speaker 2:Mission accomplished.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, that leaves me wanting to actually go back to Korea, because there wasn't any real free time, which I think is also maybe another thing that was part of their plan, who knows and I was supposed to go in October. Some health things came up, so that did not happen, but I will be going in June. However, that'll be after 2024 ends and the new laws go into place in 2025. As far as how adoption records are being kept, who has access to them and all of that, so it's going to be more difficult, I'm thinking, to get access to anything, but I will still try.
Speaker 2:And then, if all else fails, you can call up BTS and say, hey, can you help me out? I am a sister of yours in Korea.
Speaker 1:Right, but they weren't even able to get themselves out of their military training.
Speaker 2:So that's true. Hey, gal Gadot had to do stuff you know over with the IDF. So right, Other other cultures. They prioritize that military training and, if my math is correct, they're still in a war technically over there.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes. Until there is a unification of the two Koreas, we are considered in a war. Yeah, so that's fun, and America and colonization and all of that with South Korea is great, because that's what started the whole adoption industry in Korea, yay.
Speaker 2:Hey, keep it going, guys. What was the point? What is it? What were they doing? Did you reach out to them on twitter or instagram, just so they knew that you were coming?
Speaker 1:or well, you know I my plan was to reach out to them on instagram, but apparently instagram has this new thing now, where once you send someone a message, if they don't accept that one message, you can't message them ever again.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, well, okay.
Speaker 1:Because apparently they don't follow me back.
Speaker 2:They don't.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:That's impossible. I know it has to be a mistake. They have to. Is it another like mega Instagram that they are following by mistake?
Speaker 1:I mean, I have like eight Instagram accounts and they're not following any of them.
Speaker 2:You have eight Instagram accounts.
Speaker 1:Something like that.
Speaker 2:Is it just your name, but one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, or do you spread it out with, like, some different names in there?
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, they're all different. They're all different. There's only one that actually even says Meg, and that one does have numbers. It's one, two, three.
Speaker 2:Okay, got it.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, they did not greet me at the airport like I thought they would, but the overseas Korean agency did send someone to greet me at the airport and get me on a bus to my hotel and she had a little sign sign and I missed her at first because I was on a 14 hour flight. After doing a six hour flight to LA, after doing a two hour flight to New York, after waking up early and packing for me and a tiny human, after being up late the night before to see fireworks.
Speaker 2:So I missed her and her little sign, the night before to see fireworks, so I missed her and her little sign. Did you get any?
Speaker 1:sleep on the plane at all, or was it just excitement? Very little. I have such trouble sleeping as it is. I have to take 50 grams of like melatonin or dromamine every night to try to go to sleep, so it was very difficult. I did get some sleep. Nothing against my seatmates, they were great. They only got up once and they both got up at the same time. They were friends. So you know, for 14 hours to get up once, that's wild, wow Okay. But I did find her and she did get me my bus ticket and she was from Korea, obviously, and he grew up there and she was very sweet and her name was Rachel.
Speaker 2:That's a traditional Korean name, I assume, so her last name was Rachel.
Speaker 1:You know, I'm not sure she only gave one name, sort of like Madonna or Prince, and I wanted to be like, but what do people that grew up here call you?
Speaker 2:Oh sure, I don't want to be one of those people that's like what is your real name?
Speaker 1:Because I got the only time and that was terrible.
Speaker 2:Yeah, where are you really from? Yeah?
Speaker 1:Right, but I just really wanted to be like but what's on your birth certificate?
Speaker 2:Why do you think that her name is Rachel, as opposed to something more traditional? Was she older? Was she like your age? Was she a lot younger?
Speaker 1:It was a college intern.
Speaker 2:College intern.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, gotcha you know I still don't believe Rachel was her given name at birth.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I don't, I don't.
Speaker 2:I don't Gotcha.
Speaker 1:I could be very wrong and that could be very racist of me.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:But I just I don't feel like it was her given name and it might be because she was dealing with lots of people who don't know the Korean language at all that they went with a Americanized name.
Speaker 2:Okay, is it possible she's adopted? I don't think so. Okay, yeah, okay, okay. Is it possible she's adopted? I don't think so. Okay, yeah, okay. So you get off the plane and you're met with america and you're like what is happening?
Speaker 1:the first. The first place I see to actually buy anything is dunkin donuts inside the airport.
Speaker 2:Finally, okay, were there differences in the menu or?
Speaker 1:You know I didn't get anything because caffeine I no longer have a tolerance for and I wanted to actually try Korean food from like Korean places. I'm sure what a Korean Dunkin' Donut thing might be.
Speaker 2:You wanted to go to Rachel's Good Old Fashioned Korean Delicatessen.
Speaker 1:Exactly, that's the place to get the real stuff. So I got to my hotel. It was probably about 6 am by the time I got there. Oh, so the buses that you take that are like the shuttle buses, not like the city. I don't know if they're like Greyhounds or what kind of buses they're really like, but they had seats that reclined back further than my airline seat reclined. Oh, wow, yes, and they were padded all nicely and they had all it was. It was just great. It was fantastic. I was like I just want to stay on this bus, but then I saw the hotel and they put us up in the Grand Hyatt Soul.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow.
Speaker 1:So I said well, you can have your bus back. I've got this here.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's so nice. Oh, that's so nice, because I'm sure there's a worry that it's something where it's like all right, well, yeah, the Hyatt's right there, but we're going to be staying right next to it. Yes, at the Motel. Rachel.
Speaker 1:Yes, miss, you're getting off the bus the wrong way. No, no, this is where. Yes, yes, but you don't go to that hotel, you go to the one behind it.
Speaker 2:Oh, but that was not the case. It was a real Hyatt, it was Okay.
Speaker 1:And out my window I saw Namsung Tower, which I didn't get to visit.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And they let us have the breakfast buffet every day, and there was more food there than I've seen in my life.
Speaker 2:What was the spread?
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, there was American food like scrambled eggs and bacon and stuff like that. There was like more Scandinavian style stuff with like I guess it's Scandinavian and European with like the meats and the cheeses and stuff for like breakfast and then they had like bagels and muffins and pastries and they had orange juice and coffee and apple juice and all other kind of different fruits juices that I did not want to try because I was scared. And then they had a whole spread of like Korean food. So they had like this pumpkin soup. That was amazing. But on the last day they didn't have it and they changed it to something else and we were all really sad. But they had white rice. They had this.
Speaker 1:My favorite thing was this soup and you go over and you walk over and she says, would you like some soup? And you say yes, and then you get this little bowl and she puts this. She takes some broth and she puts it in this pan and then like you can have like shrimp and you can have like sprouts and like cilantro and all this different stuff. So it's sort of like an omelet station but like for soup like make your own pho, but like somebody's making it for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but okay and that was my favorite I loved it because when I was in middle school, I used to eat soup every morning for breakfast.
Speaker 2:That sounds psychopathic. Like you mean like did you call cereal soup?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:I would legitimately eat soup. Like when I'd go to a birthday party that was a sleepover in my bag, my mom would pack me a can of soup. Like when I'd go to a birthday party that was a sleepover in my bag, my mom would pack me a can of soup.
Speaker 2:Like Campbell's chicken noodle soup.
Speaker 1:Well Progresso, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't mean to soup shame I don't. But I am so glad that in your DNA the reason you love soup so much is because it's served in Korea for breakfast. That's awesome.
Speaker 1:And that reminds me of this story. My parents had to go somewhere and it was like really soon after I was adopted, and so my mom's sister and her husband came to watch me and they took me to this restaurant for dinner. That was like down the block from where I grew up and they asked me what I wanted to eat and I said soup. And they said you don't want soup. And they got me like a tuna fish sandwich or something. I hate tuna fish. To this day I will not eat it, and so, like they kept trying to get me to eat it, eat it, eat it. And then they finally ordered me the soup and I ate the soup.
Speaker 2:Huh, so Wow, that's fascinating.
Speaker 1:Yeah, some people didn't do their homework.
Speaker 2:You're talking about your parents.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they didn't, did they? No, oh, wow, okay, all right, so good to know that there is a solid. There's just just not justification, but almost a nostalgia that you continue to experience with a food item that is just completely normal to have, that is so alien over here, like you can't go to topeka, kansas, walk into the waffle house, maybe waffle house, let's say denny's. You Kansas, walk into the Waffle House, maybe Waffle House, let's say Denny's. You can't walk into Denny's and be like hello, your finest soup, please. It's 830 and I need to get to work. They will take eggs and just like pop the yolk for you and say is this it?
Speaker 1:Is this what you wanted?
Speaker 2:Oh, I thought they were going to throw the eggs at me After you say no, they might, but wow, okay.
Speaker 1:Incredible. That was good. I also think I know why I didn't eat rice until I was like 12. And my parents didn't understand why. Because rice is so popular, Because they weren't giving me Asian rice.
Speaker 2:What were they giving you? Rice roni.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and different things like that that are, just you know, a totally different style.
Speaker 2:So yeah, so what was? What was the style there?
Speaker 1:I guess it's um like jasmine rice that's used a lot in Asian cuisine.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So it's. I guess it's more like a fragrant. I don't remember if it's a long grain or short grain, I don't know, I don't know enough about it. So all I buy now is jasmine rice in those packets that you heat in the microwave for 90 seconds, because I still do not own a rice cooker and I'm very scared to figure out how to do it. Because it's this whole thing where you have to rinse the rice so many times and then you have to put it in, and you have to put your hand in and your water in the thing to cook. It has to go up to a certain part on your hand and then that's when you'll have perfect rice. But everyone's hand is a different size, so I don't understand this rule.
Speaker 2:Have you tried an instant pot?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:They make it pretty easy, but you do have to go through all of those steps. But I will say it is divine to be able to cook up a batch of rice in about 30 minutes and then have that for the week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I can make rice in 90 seconds.
Speaker 2:Oh, that is true. That is true. But their rice, did they season it at all? Did they use bay leaves, or was it just kind of more of a neutral white rice that was? Maybe a little salt was added.
Speaker 1:I think it was neutral. I didn't see them actually cook it, so I'm not sure.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:So that was fun. And then they had us go to the conference which went every day from 10 am to 8.30 pm.
Speaker 2:What was jet lag for you Like? Were you pretty? Did it take a while to get acclimated to what? Was it 13 hour difference?
Speaker 1:Yes, 13 hours, and I don't think I ever did get acclimated.
Speaker 2:Okay, fair. Yeah, probably on the whole everybody felt that way right.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm sure they did. I mean some people you know people came from. There were quite a few Americans, there was one Canadian, there were a lot of people from Denmark, sweden, france, there's Germany, there a couple Italians and it was such a strange experience. And I know this is going to sound racist and I don't mean it to sound racist, but you know Asian people growing up they always sounded like they were from Asia. The ones I met I cause I grew up in a very white area. So when I finally met someone who sounded like me and who looked like me, it was a very big surprise and it was hard for me to understand. But then, being there and like closing my eyes and listening to all these like tongues from around the world, and they sounded like they were native from those countries, because they are native from those countries, but then to open my eyes and see them look like me, it was a weird thing for me to try to wrap my head around.
Speaker 2:Did everybody speak English for the most part, or did everybody kind of clump with their sort of regions that they were from?
Speaker 1:Yeah, they put us in groups, and so they did try to take into account who spoke what. There was a English translator and there was a French translator, and then they had to hire someone who didn't know Korean but knew French and Italian, and that person would translate for the Italians.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, would translate for the Italians Okay, yeah, wow, and so, all told, looking at 20 people, 50 people, 100 people. There were, I believe, 70 adoptees 70 adoptees, yeah, and their guests and their guests. Okay, so 70 total or 70 plus 70 plus, wow, yeah, and their guests and their guests Okay, 70. So 70 total or 70 plus 70 plus, wow, yeah, okay, that's a massive conference. Every single day it was. It was a lot Okay.
Speaker 1:During the conference itself. I hope if somehow this information gets back to them, they don't think that I am terrible for saying this, but going into it I thought that it was going to be like propaganda in a way, but the thing is, with that and knowing that you kind of got away if you're getting enough out of it to go along with it, out of it to go along with it. So it did feel a bit propaganda-ish, because Korea has a really bad reputation. It's a very shameful past when it comes to the whole adoption industry thing and they're really trying to change the image that the world has about that. So they had this conference where they brought us all back and they paid for everything and they took us one day to the National Museum and another day they took us to this Hyundai place which we were all like we're going to a factory. I don't know about this, but that place was amazing. It wasn't a factory and they showed like all this technology and things that were coming in and it was just awesome.
Speaker 2:But do not go to san francisco in 2025 okay, why, why, why would one not go to san francisco?
Speaker 1:well, I got to sit in this, uh, future car thing. That's not really a car. You get in, you buckle your seat belt and then the four seats in the car move and turn and go around a table and then on the table you can like, if you're going to the mall, you can look at things that are at the mall and pick your sizes and colors so they'll have them ready for you when you get there and do this and do that and blah, blah, blah. Nobody's looking at the road. Oh and oh and. So this is a concept, that a card that they are looking to release. I believe they said in 2025. I could be wrong, I think it was 2025. So good luck, san francisco. But I said, oh, so, yeah, this is, this is being released, and okay, okay, I was like, so maybe I shouldn't visit during that time. They're like, oh, no, we're, we're releasing it overseas first. You know. It's like, oh, okay, where she's like san francisco. It's like, oh, got it okay okay?
Speaker 2:um, all right, is it self driving, or is it okay? So it's self-driving, and then you can just essentially sit back and and your car becomes a second home that is geared towards consumerism.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:All right. Well, they're picking the right country to launch it in. We do love buying things and that's not going to change, nope. And San Francisco, historically known for being able to have open and clean streets, that's not going to have anybody on them nice level ground oh, super yep, you've got.
Speaker 2:They call it the great plains of california. That is how wonderfully accommodating a launch of a new autonomous vehicle is for Hyundai. Congratulations, guys, you chose the right one. All right, so I can see why you'd want to avoid that entirely, but you know, from afar, be like oh, I saw that that's pretty cool.
Speaker 1:I saw that a few years ago.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:I'm a time traveler.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, of course, because you went 13 hours into the future see exactly, I did travel time was it just car related technology that was over there or did they have? I don't know about hyundai if they have other research and development divisions that go beyond automobiles yeah, I'm not so about that, but this was all pretty much car related.
Speaker 1:But they did talk about things how this one car forgot exactly, but like it actually like cleans water or something while it's driven and I asked questions about it. They're like well, it doesn't actually do that, but like it has the capability to do that, and I was confused and I don't know if things got lost in translation or what, but I was hey, does it work?
Speaker 2:it could okay, but does it uh?
Speaker 1:next question so then, our last cultural experience was one of four. It would be learning to cook traditional Korean meal in a Buddhist temple. Okay, learning to paint in a traditional style, a taekwondo class and a K-pop dance class.
Speaker 2:Oh, you did K-pop dance class. Oh, you did k-pop, didn't you?
Speaker 1:and so they sent the email and they said if something is no longer listed when you go to fill it out, that means it's full. So I would have really liked to learn from the buddhist monks, oh okay, how to cook traditional food. I love K-pop, but I am not a dancer. Okay, I was all set to do that. One Friday afternoon I saw the email at work and I'm going through and I open it up and there's just Taekwondo and K-pop left.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, and there's just taekwondo and k-pop left, okay, okay. And I saw, oh man, the two that I would have actually wanted to try. I didn't get it. They sent the email out. On american thanksgiving okay so in the k-pop and the taekwondo it was a lot of Americans, Because a lot of Americans weren't really checking their email on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Yeah, was that sort of a bonding Wait, so they sent it out. You were not in Korea on Thanksgiving.
Speaker 1:Correct, this was ahead of time.
Speaker 2:So that's so, instead of being there and choosing OK, now I'm caught up, ok, all right. So Taekwondo, you got, you got, you got Taekwondo and a lovely smattering of Korean K-pop dancing.
Speaker 1:Yes. So because I took a DNA test because I don't know who my parents are DNA test because I don't know who my parents are I've learned that as far as athletic ability, I have a hundred percent less likelihood of being athletic, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't try. That's literally what it said. Doesn't mean I shouldn't try sports. But then two other things said that I am a hundred percent more likely to have Achilles tendon tear and 100% more likely to have an ACL tear, and I've already had an MCL tear three times. So Taekwondo and K-pop dance are both not really the best for someone like me, but I assumed in Taekwondo they may have you try to like break things and I felt that that might hurt me more so so I did go with the K-pop dance.
Speaker 2:Okay, so yeah, because, Taekwondo, there can be some twists. Oh man, it really seems like a coin flip, doesn't it?
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm Yep, okay. Man, it really seems like a twine flip, doesn't it? Mm-hmm Yep, okay. Yeah, I know you're not a K-pop fan, but some of these moves that they do.
Speaker 2:I appreciate the art there. I don't know if baby metal is considered K-pop kind of, but I do love me some baby metal.
Speaker 1:I don't know what that is. It's like hardcore music.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, it's. It's three, three performers who sing what I imagine are like pretty traditional styles of k-pop songs, but like the band is just deeply heavy metal. Oh, like they went on. They went on tour with the creators of megalopolis, the megalopolips megalopolips, I think that's the call of it like the, the anime, that was all about the, the death metal band that rules the world. Oh right, last year. So anyways, I appreciate it. I I don't listen to a lot of it, I'm not into it as much as other friends of mine are, but I know that it's a lot of work to perform that a whole concert. Especially. I can only imagine how in shape you have to be.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I am not.
Speaker 2:Uh-huh.
Speaker 1:So I will say I didn't tear anything.
Speaker 2:Good, all right Success.
Speaker 1:Yes, and then on the last night, the closing dinner, they made us get up in front of everyone and perform it.
Speaker 2:Oh, like a middle school.
Speaker 1:Don't have enough trauma from my homeland already.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:I now got another one to add to the list.
Speaker 2:All right, how'd you do?
Speaker 1:I don't know, I think I blacked out oh.
Speaker 2:God, okay. Well, that's how, at least you didn't have to spend any money on it.
Speaker 1:That's true. That's true, it was a free class. Yes, yes, it was a free class. Yes, yes, yes, it was a free class. So, yeah, our conference, you know they had us talk. They talked about a lot of different things.
Speaker 1:The final conference piece that they had us talk about was there was someone from the government there, someone from this organization called Goal, which is a lot of adoptees work at, and it's a nonprofit and they help adoptees try to find information.
Speaker 1:It's Korean-based, so they were there and they basically told us that, because of the laws that have changed in Korea and how, in 2025, the government's going to be in charge of adoptions and all our files are going to be controlled by the government. So, you know, during the Q&A, we tried to ask people from that government agency like, so what stuff is being transferred? Like, is it going to transfer everything? Is it going to be copies of things? Is it still going to be at the agencies? Like, what about pictures? Like what's considered important information? And there was just a lot of. We're still working that out, we're trying to figure that out. And so the last organization to speak was GOLD, the one that helps the adoptees, and the guy basically flat out, said in front of everybody if you want your stuff, you need to come before 2025.
Speaker 2:Oh, they're just going to try a whole clean slate and pretend that there was a before times that we don't talk about.
Speaker 1:I'm not sure, and moving forward.
Speaker 2:That's it Okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah and so yeah. So I am a member of GOAL and in October I'll be going over to try to find whatever information I can.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, okay, Is this going to be on your dime or are they helping out? Okay?
Speaker 1:Oh well, they are doing this program. So I wanted to go in like October. And then when I was talking to the woman from Goals she's like, well, we're doing this program. We don't know if it's going to be in September or October yet, but whenever it is is a bad time to come because we're all going to be working on this program, but I don't know what the criteria is going to be, but you should apply for it. So the information went out in April for Soat Day and I decided, okay, I will apply to this and it's basically the adoption search, but doing it with other adoptees 30 total and they pay for everything.
Speaker 2:Okay, so you got it. So people have experience that you can get help with some of the blind spots and get the information that you're looking for.
Speaker 1:Maybe, like they'll bring you to the agency, they'll do like the translating for the conversations, the translating for the conversations. They will go. For instance, I was found in Gwangju, which is in the south of Korea. I will be in Seoul and Gwangju with them. We're going to go to the area where I was found and try to ask questions and see what we can find, put up flyers with my pictures on it and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:Your current pictures or baby pictures.
Speaker 1:They want one from as young as I have to a childhood one and then a current one.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, okay yeah.
Speaker 1:So yeah, I know in the past at times they've sometimes taken people to like like nursing homes and stuff in the area and tried to talk with people there to see if they knew anything whoa okay yeah, so it's, it's a big thing.
Speaker 1:So I thought that it would be good to do this with other adoptees, so I put in my application and I got called for an interview. Okay, so I did my interview with this guy and I asked, like you know, how do you choose people, this and that and everything? And it was a lot of people who haven't been to Korea yet, which I'm like, oh well, I was just there in December, so that sucks. And then people who I was asking if the file was important, because my file doesn't have much. She's like it's a little bit, but it's not, it doesn't weigh heavily on it. The never being to Korea is a heavy one, and the other heavy one is if they don't get chosen for this, will they have the means to be able to get there on their own?
Speaker 1:Okay on their own. Okay, so me, being a single parent with a child, who has some some special needs sort of things, and who only works part-time because of said child and wanting to spend as much time as I can with him, I did not get chosen.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So I'm going in October, a month later, and we'll see what we can find. My cousin, my second cousin in Hawaii, yeah, I did finally ask her. I'm like, okay, I'm just wondering do you by any chance have like names of any of like your family or anything? I know your mom doesn't talk to them or anything, but she was able to give me. She's like I'll ask my mom, and she got back to me very quickly within the hour and she gave me the name of her mother's mother and father.
Speaker 2:Oh, wow, yeah, Okay, it's getting close to feeling real, then.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so there's that. There's at least a little something maybe to go off of, but a lot of people have similar names in Korea.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:We'll see what we can figure out. But the woman, she, when she I had my talk with her about coming over to do the active search, she's like you know, I your file, I don't know. And I was like, oh gosh, this doesn't sound like good from someone who like deals with this day in and day out yeah she's like I think it's really strange that it says this man is the 62 year old man brought you to the orphanage.
Speaker 1:I was like, yeah, she's like I mean, how do we know he's 62? Like, we know his age but we don't have his name. She's like why didn't it just say like a man who looked like he was in his 60s? And I was like, yeah, since I found that out, that's been bothering me too. She's like I mean, maybe he was like your grandfather. And I was like, yeah, that thoughts crossed my mind too yeah, that, that seems to be the most simple explanation. Right. So, as the children say, it seems sus Okay.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, walk me through why that seems sus.
Speaker 1:Well, because we know that being a single mother in Korea was frowned upon. We know that a lot of them were talked into giving up their children, and some that were not. When they would go to work, the grandparents would bring the children to the orphanage.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:We know that a lot of files have been changed.
Speaker 2:Oh, so you were. You were potentially kidnapped.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Yes, I see, okay, I got you. So Wow, that's a oh man Wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she said not to get your hopes up on finding anything, because Korea is a small country and people move around a lot for jobs, so Okay.
Speaker 1:So that's that. But it's brought on a whole like issue with like, because I have to be there for like two weeks because dealing with like the government and police stations and nonprofits and volunteers and all of this like agencies, private, like business, though it seems like there's not a lot of meetings and it should be able to be done quickly. People's schedules are all over the place. Yeah, I can imagine, so I'm going to be on quickly.
Speaker 2:People's schedules are all over the place. Yeah, I can imagine.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to be on the ground for like two weeks and so I was asking like to make up the time with my kid when I get home, because I can't bring him on something like this. And that's become a whole thing. So that's just a whole other thing. And, like I talked to my therapist about it, she's like, yeah, it's a lot harder on you being an adoptee. It's even more important like seeing your kid. And I was like, yeah, if you liked this episode of the Adopt Twins, I urge you to pull over if you're driving, or stop what you're doing and take one minute to take out your phone and text someone you know that you think would also like the Adopt Twins. Send them a text that says hey, I've been listening to this podcast and I think you'd like it. Let me know what you think and send them a link to the show. Word of mouth is the best way to spread the hilarity of the Adopt Twins, so stop gatekeeping us and let someone else know We'll catch y'all soon.